Humour

A man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with
red lipstick, and a half bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began to read.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, ‘Say,

Father, what causes arthritis?’
‘My son, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for the here-after,’ the
priest replied.

‘You don’t say,’ the man shook his head sadly.
The priest felt sorry for the poor soul. ‘How long have you had arthritis, my son?’ he asked gently.

‘Oh, I don’t have it, Father,’ the man replied. ‘It says here that the Pope does.’

Two Hollywood stars met at a party. ‘Darling!’ exclaimed the first, ‘Your husband looks wonderful tonight. I’ve never seen him
so fit and well. Perhaps it’s the new suit ….?’

‘No, it’s not the suit. It’s a new wife.’

•••••••••

A woman drove up to her home, staggered out of her car and into the arms of her husband, gasping: ‘Wow! It is too hot! I
thought I’d pass out.’

‘But why didn’t you open the windows of the car while you were driving?’
‘Oh no!’ she answered, ‘I want the neighbours to think we have an air-conditioned car.’

•••••••••

The meek little man approached a policeman on the street corner.
‘Excuse me, officer,’ he said, ‘but I’ve been waiting here for my wife for over an hour. Would you be kind enough to order me
to move?’

•••••••••

It was Meera’s first airplane trip and she was determined to be nonchalant about the whole thing. After reading a magazine
for a while she yawned and glanced out of the window.

‘My,’ she said, ‘people really look just like ants from this height.’
‘Lady,’ said a fellow passenger. ‘We haven’t taken off yet. Those are ants.’